Isaac Dian

The Rapier Wit


Isaac was a bit of a rascal in his youth, truth be told. Many an afternoon was spent relieving fields of apples, tricking local children in to painting fences in front of random people’s houses, fixing people’s doors left right and center. But something always seemed lacking to Isaac, as he grew older. He needed…something specific. His vague aspirations had surpassed simply letting a cat loose in church—he wanted to release a fleet of cats in to the holiest temple to Pelor in existence, and train those cats to sing hymns. He wanted to trick a roving band of bandits in to painting the fence of the local guard house, and leaving their address to send payment. He wanted to join two rival guilds and pretend that each one had an identical twin in the other guild.

So he did two of those, and he still wanted more. Maybe it was some desire to fit in that led him to briefly become a priest of Sehanine, although he could never get the hang of divine magic, possibly because he was a priest for about two months. He went on to join several guilds, including the Door Repairmen’s Guild, the Security Tester Guild, The Weapon Sharpener Guild, the Fool’s Guild, the Gold Plater’s Gild, and the Society of Food Testers, one of which he was not a founding member of. For some reason, Isaac has never joined a Thieve’s Guild, possibly because he is actually a terrible thief.

One day, he came across a group of very tall halfling mummers, and met Miria, a knife-throwing acrobatic and very lovely halfling. He convinced her that they were to be the greatest thieving team ever to be known since the legendary Kindred clan fell into obscurity. Since meeting, they have had many adventures together, with Isaac’s smoothe-talking and Miria’s acrobatic skills working in perfect tandem to take many things that had no value to anybody, such as a king’s shaving kit (he became known as Lord Coulton the Feral), a terrifyingly awful piece of art known as the Bishop’s Bird Stump, and once, on a dare, the pinky toe of a golem. The heist that led them to join the SotSotS was the attempted and failed theft of the door to a church, so that nobody could get in.

Since joining the SotSotS, life has been very exciting for Isaac, which is really all he wanted, with the exception of dying, which has, to be fair, only happened once. Isaac now bears a scar around his collarbone consisting of many pockmarks where dragon-teeth removed his head, and whenever he sees it he reminds himself how lucky he is to be with such good companions that will keep him safe, and also how lucky he is to not be dead. Also, ever since coming back, he’s had a strange ability—his blade glows with ethereal moonlight when striking an enemy off-guard. This hardly ever comes up, however, as Isaac is notoriously terrible with his sword.

Isaac Dian

Everhelm soulkingbrook